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Deliciously Tired


OMG!! After a day like today, all I want to do is curl up in my bed with my husband, put on an episode of Living Single, and eat some Chipotle in my sweats (no socks). I don't want to say another word, explain another thing, and if I have to repeat myself anymore I feel my eyes may roll so far to the back of my head I may never see them again. I leapt like an Alvin Ailey dancer out of my classroom today mentally and emotionally drained but happy and it's all because I am finally in a place where I love what I do for a living.

A couple of years ago, I couldn't say this at all. Daily, you could find me hiding in my office curled up in a fetal position on the floor weeping for freedom as I felt like a prisoner on the job. I used to dread mornings as I knew I would have to spend 8 hours in a place I had no desire to even spend 8 minutes. Despite having some amazing co-workers, the workload and the overall environment was miserable for me. Many people were impressed with what I had accomplished as a young, single woman in her 20's. I had two degrees, I made great money and had an impressive title. There were those who considered me an inspiration of sorts, but I didn't feel inspired. In fact, I was depressed as my heart wasn't there, my spirit was broken, and my mind cried for peace. It's no surprise that, during those times, I regularly left work feeling drained to the point of emptiness as a result of constant corporate micromanaging, criticism, and undermining.

However, the money was so good there that it wasn't until things were overwhelmingly depressing that I decided to leave. You see, I was a frequent consumer of retail therapy and that job to allowed me get my fix as much as I pleased. But after a while, even sparkly new things couldn't satiate my desire do more with my life than be a Clinical Director of psychiatric hospital where ironically, was the one who was going crazy. Thus, I had to get out.

Three years later, after a working a less stressful job (at same pay Praise God!), getting married, and lots of paperwork, I am an educator. No, the money is no where near as good and often I do a lot more than anyone seems to appreciate, but my heart is full. I am confident that I am exactly where I am supposed to be (even if only for a season as there is more I want to do). There were some who questioned my decision and were confused by my decision but I know that it was right for me.

So now I say to you:

If there is anything out there that you have a heart to do or a passion for, please go after it. Even if you don't know what your passion is, search until you find it. You were created on purpose for a purpose, and until you find it, you will not be fulfilled. You will remain empty just like I was; crying in the floor and praying to be rescued. Life is too short to wake up every day and dislike or even despise what you are doing. You deserve better. You deserve the best of life. You were not designed you to live a mediocre life. You were designed for greatness! You were designed to Do Greater and be greater! Yes, what is in your heart to do may seem mountains away but, living on a plateau in any area of life is a waste of life. Don't wait to be rescued, free yourself from the mundane by going for your "it"! Whatever "it" is. Don't settle for "okay" or wish your life away. Push to phenomenal! Push yourself through the painful fear of the new or unknown until you gain the strength of joy and satisfaction. Don't quit. You may fail or fall your way to success but it is worth it! As crazy as it may seem, failure is a part of your process to success. At some point we all fail, but if you keep pressing and pushing you will succeed! Please don't be consumed with the opinions of others. There is no way that they can understand completely what is in your head while living outside of your head. The only way to get them to understand is to get them to see it in the now. Build it right before their eyes, and your dream will become reality to them and more importantly for you! You can do this! God would not have put you on this Earth and leave you helpless. You are a force sent to change the world for the better by simply being you! I'm so excited for you! The day when you wake up with a smile and and song and walk into your present with the intensity of purpose, please post below. I sooooo want celebrate with you the day you give your all in your "dream turned reality" and leave deliciously tired.

Humbly Submitted,

A. Marie

P.S. Big Hug

Lead Me Back - Morgan Harper Nichols
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