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Song of the Day: This Love

It's crazy this thing called life. One moment you are crying desperately for joy and salvation and then you are crying from joy and the thought of salvation. Motherhood. Womanhood. Wifedom. Each time I transitioned into their realms a part of my personhood freaked out and wanted to run screaming for the hills as I didn't feel I was as ready as I thought (despite the fact that I had prayed earnestly to enter into them all)... But instead of talking about that, in this moment I want to follow this most beautiful squirrel of a thought and relish in THIS LOVE.

At this very moment I am overwhelmed with love and joy as a gaze upon the most perfect thing I have played a part in creating. Michael Lynn Johnson III has flooded my heart and I cannot believe that he is mine. THIS LOVE. I scroll through pictures of my husband and I ... I can't believe after all of the terribleness I was willingly a part of in life that I have been allowed to have such a man as a my husband. A man whose heart pours our love and eyes look beyond the outter me and see the inner me. A true gentleman strong, sensitive, and humble... he's my Favorite.. THIS LOVE.

I peer farther into my family where I have a mother who would work her fingers to the bone and daily lays her heart out on a platter so that others may partake of love. THIS LOVE. I have a hero of a father who has time after time placed his family on his back and carried us uphill in the snowstorms of life and has duck taped his spine together in order to protect and provide all while teaching us the lesson of being there and loving in the moment. He's gentle giant. THIS LOVE. I have a ride and live sister who knows and loves the real me no question and a pit bull in a skirt sister who's heart is as big and as soft as Texas and both would in a moment fight for me and even fight me when my fears try to kill me. THIS LOVE.

I have been so blessed that my in-laws who were already my family for over 10 years before Mike and I ever got married because his sister is my best friend. THIS LOVE. I have a Godmother whose love healed and heals my from past pain now gone. She is my guardian angel. THIS LOVE.

Most of all, I think of Jesus my SAVIOR and God My Father who decided long before I had a chance to mess up that I deserved the love that would provide me with the chance to mess up. HE saw me a mess up and loved me still. He made me in perfection and I messed up and messed up and messed up and He never disowned me or put me down. HE loved me all the more still and saw and sees greater in me than I could ever see in myself. He endured the most painful death so that I could have a chance at life and have the chance to choose life in Him. THIS LOVE gave a free gift so that I could choose. He gave His life for a maybe.. a possibly. ''For that I am eternally grateful.

So while there is much I could be sarcastic of critical of in the world we live in, today I refocus and zoom in on THIS LOVE. It's all around me and you if we only look deep enough or shallow enough. Its easy to dwell on things going wrong but today for a moment take a moment to breathe and see. THIS LOVE.

Lead Me Back - Morgan Harper Nichols
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