Down and Out (A Battle of the Mind)
PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! HELLLLPP ME!!!!
Here I am falling again
sinking deep into my solitude of silence
disappearing out of sight and mind
numb to life as
my calls for a lifeline go unanswered
scratchy throated my strong cry is now but a whisper
my strength to even think to try is gone
I cling to every ounce of my faith as
I watch the bird of the air FLY
Here long enough to see
the grass GROW
while I waste away
Where is my father
the one who promised to never leave or forsake
I feel forsook
my elbows weak from pleading
knees wobbling from knealing
what did I do to earn this moment of misery
this place of prideless pain
What kind of God lets his child decay with no dignity!!!!! A God who loves you...... enough to send His Son to do the same
There's more to my song/poem above but for the rest of this post I want to fulfill a request from reader who asked me to write about what to do when you are down and out. My first mind wants to quote a Donny McClurkin song and say "Stand". But then I thought what if I can't stand. What if all I can do is crawl or lay. What if I can't move at all?
In my humble opinion, I think we must do what we can and hold on to dear life until Christ strengthens us to do more. If all you can do is cry and sing.. then cry and sing. Do what you must to stay alive in Christ. Because "down and out" is the fork in the road where WE CHOOSE either to die or live. We Choose. Even though it feels like it can "down an out CAN NOT kill you. But, it can persuade you to choose death by way of depression and pity partydom as "down and out" is a battle of the mind no matter how physically down you are. When you are down and out Fight TO LIVE. Pull out every encouraging song and scripture. Stay around your most trusted positive people. Pray. Scream. Pray. Write. Worship. Search inside yourself for something positive that you can create. Even if its just an encouraging letter to someone else. It may sound absurd to say encourage someone else while you feel you can't see the light of day. But, if you become light for someone else light will also fall on you.
I did this very thing a couple weeks ago when I was suffering from post partum depression... I wrote a post to encourage other mothers and soon my stale air turned fresh... for a moment. However, soon the darkness came back with a vengeance and in that moment I prayed and cried some more. I asked God again and again for light, peace, and strength... It was quiet.
There were no thunder claps, no angels of light, or hugs of wind. I broke again. Then, miraculously I found the words to speak. I stopped being ashamed and owned my moment and allowed others to push me out of the quickly enclosing walls of my house into the light. Outside, I basked in the sun as my son slept and let the sun shine on me. I let my people carry and encourage me. I exposed my weakness and allowed myself to be fragile in their eyes. I allowed myself to be in need. In our moments of being down and out, as Christians we know to pray and wait on God. But, I also think that it is just as important to lean on those around us and let them be the strength we don't have. This is hard to do because that, too, can make us feel bad. But there's nothing wrong with leaning on those you love and TRUST. That"s why God said its not good for man to be alone.. even in his mind..
Solitude when you are down and out is where evil thoughts gain strength.
Down and out is not meant to kill you.. It a battle of the mind But it can be used to draw you closer to God and ID your good people.
You will not die here.
God will deliver you.
Come out of Hiding
Fight to Live.
Lean on those you love.
Sing. Cry. Fight. Pray. Scream
Separate yourself from negativity.
Fight some more.
Be Light to others.
Come out of Solitude.
Do what you can.
Let people love you
What you are building up (more than your body) is your Mind.
If you can get your mind to the mountain top your body soon will follow... Go in peace...