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The Whole improvement

Hey Yall! I'm SUPER excited for this week's feature writer because it's BAE!!! My HUSBAND (Its still crazy to me that I get to say that because for a while I thought God had forgotten me.) Ladies share this post with the men around you because I believe it will bless all of your lives! I know it blessed me!

If I were brave....

I'm not a writer, my wife is. But just like in every aspect of my life right now she inspires me. Most likely you will find errors in my grammar, punctuation, and thoughts about myself. Story of my life and that's what I'm writing about in a way. I have recently come to terms with a partial truth that my views of my own self are negative at best. This is an issue in several ways.

1) I stopped believing in myself.

2) I'm not alone in life anymore and everything I say and do have a direct effect on the inspirational woman listed above. 3) I have been stagnant since my freshman year of college.

I think the word they use to describe this is called apathy. The worst feeling in the world is having those that you love most see you in a pathetic state. An apathetic state. When I was single and trying to mingle this was an easy cover up. But when this woman became "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone," she also became a mirror for my life. I see myself in her and quite frankly I look very frail and weak and fragile and immature and untrustworthy and irresponsible and.... pathetic. I have reached a crucial point in my life though. I have decided I want to change the way I look. First, to myself and then to my wife and then to the world.

“When it comes to privacy and accountability, people always demand the former for themselves and the latter for everyone else.” ― David Brin

The above quote weirdly applies to me. I am a private and a-social yet friendly person. I also expect for people to uphold their end of bargains or do what they say while also believing that most people won't. I could help everyone else fix themselves, point out their wrongs, decide what was best in their lives but struggled to correct those deficiencies in my own. I claimed to be a realist so long that I forgot how to dream. I tried for so long to be immune to life's troubles that I lost feeling to its delights as well. I allowed myself to be influenced so much by my friends insight that I lost sight of my own self. Now I can't seem to have an opinion or make a decisive decision concerning the things I like or dislike. I became a chameleon to my surroundings and forgot what color I started with. What a way to live. What a way to lead a family. Blind. and its not nearly a bit of fun.

I recently read a book called "Unleashing the King in the Kid" by Dr. Anthony Robinson Jr.

Very much a good read for the work I try to do with young kids these days but the book was read from a perspective of "Mike, Unleash the King in You". Honestly, I'm just ready to move forward. I hate that it took me so long to decide to make the most of myself but hey, better late than never. Today is a great day to start afresh. There is no better time than the present and I just wanna be (Common album reference).

So from today on I am enlisting you reader to hold me accountable by being less private. By expressing myself in an area I'm not so good at to chronicle my journey to improve my life. And maybe after all this I will be an ok writer but more importantly an inspiration. That's why I exist on the earth. God has placed me here to do what I said I would. Trust Him. Comfort zones are the enemies of Christians because Christianity is forever progressive. But I stated above I, for years now, have been stagnant and apathetic. Unsure of myself. Lacking self-confidence and esteem. I'm done with that though. I have no idea what I will look like in days, weeks, months and years to come but the world will find out as I do.

God put on my heart as a youth to be an entrepreneur. Of what I have no idea but I will become what I was born to be. In the past year He has also placed Whole Improvement on my heart. This organization will inspire the youth of today and tomorrow to reach beyond what they know into an unknown that is as amazing and terrifying as the future they are headed toward anyways. Spiritual, mental and physical upgrades. That's all of life. The Whole Improvement starts with me. Let's go.

Hebrews 13:5,6

Lead Me Back - Morgan Harper Nichols
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