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Dear Young Woman


Dear Young Woman,

I want to first say that I love you and I thank you for asking me to write this post. Thank you for you love, support, inspiration, and honesty that causes me weekly and daily to push. Thank you for seeing something of value in my older young woman self that is "look up toable" and doing so, regularly. You my dear beauty are precious. You are so amazingly wonderful that if there was a mother nature she would oogle at the intricacies of your design and instantaneously create a simultaenous sunset surise in hopes that she could adequately sigh in awe. You are gorgeous.

You asked me for my advice here goes:

Take joy in the now.

Relish in it. Chew on it. No Gnaw on it because soon all of your dreams will come true and you will wish for one of these many moments you have to yourself. Not because things are so bad but because things are sooooo very good and you wish you could go back and tell yourself that things will be better than okay so your past you can dry her eyes. Tell her that she won't end up alone. You will want to tell her that she will miss the silence of now and the quiet of now and the wellness of now that you and your loved ones have. I know it sounds weird but you will miss the simplicity of your worry and how it feels to sleep super "sprawled" out in the bed (every now and then). You will be so happy in the future, but please slow down and breathe in the now.

Marriage is a beautiful unfairytale surprise

For weeks, months, and maybe even years you prayed and waited for your forever man aka Husband. You almost begged God for him and cried over sweets, drinks, and popcorn hoping that tomorrow your happily ever after would begin. I want to tell you that no matter how amazing that he is, there will still come pain, loneliness, and moments you can't believe. Times you feel he should have known better will arise but you will have to learn to let it go. Your Mr. Right will still your Knight in shining arm but expecting squeaky clean perfection is unfair for him and for you. He will fail and so will you, but the failing will help you fall into the real love as you come out of the clouds and the struggles will strengthen your bond.

Buy yourself something sparkly

Do this if you can because you can as it will be a souvenir to represent this free time of your life. I can't explain it. As a younger woman, I bought myself a Tiffany & Co. choker and I still cherish the experience of doing that for myself to this day.

Educate yourself on money

I know that this piece of advice isnt really touchy-feely but it is necessarry. OH SOOOOO necessary. As a child, I learned very quickly and easily how to spend money but methods of investing, saving, and creating income outside of a regular job were not as easily obtained or absorbed. Money conversations are not the most enjoyable especially if you have student loans like I do (honey, I could have bought a Bentley after undergrad and graduate school) but get in the conversations now to develop a plan. This will help alleviate future stress especially if you are in a serious relationship with plans to get married. Money is one of the easiest ways to create tension in your marriage so do yourself a favor and start facing your finances now.

Learn to forgive quickly

Because the pain of holding a grudge will cause resentment and bitterness and suck the attractiveness right out of your beautiful self. It will cause you to repel people and hurt the ones you love. Forgiving quickly is a skill so please start practicing now because people are going to be people saying and doing the darndest of things.

Get Naked Whaaatttt??? Yes Ma'am. Get N-A-K-E-D. Stand in front of yourself without makeup, weave, or clothes and face you. So many times we are bombarded with messages on how to lift this, stretch this, flatten that, or plum this in order to be better. It's all propaganda. So get to know your full beautiful self even better now because she will be you for the rest of your life and will change on her own. Plus it's liberating!

Discover your purpose

There is a problem that you were designed and placed on this earth to fix. Inside, you have been equipped with all that you need to fulfill this purpose and over time you will discover more and more or what's in you as the fires of life draw them out. No matter what, remember that it is no accident you are here. Daddy God sent you here on a mission and a mission only you can complete. Seek Him now to find that purpose (I bet it's somewhere near your passion and right around the corner from your dreams... Oh! check out this song I have by Chrisette Michele called A Day in Your Life)

Claw for your life for your dreams

As beautiful as your future already is please hear me when I say that neither your husband nor your children will be able to satisfy the void of a dream deferred. I am a woman who is in love with taking care of them and doing things to make them happy daily puts a smile on my face. But, even after all of the energy caring for them requires, I still have the desire to create and do something that is fulfilling to me. Having a fulfilling career that allows me to create is very important to me as it keeps me centered and prevents me from feeling as if I lost myself. As life progressess you will gain more titles and will hear your actual name less and less and having your own identity in the midst of all these transitions will be key to your happiness. So, whatever your dream is focus on that now.

There is so much more that I could say so I know that I will be writing you again. But before I go, I want

to remind you that you are loved, divinely. Life has a way of beating you up and trying to make you feel as if you are all alone, but I want to tell you that you are not. There are people that love you and will do anything for you so don't ever listen to the voices that say you are anything else than loved. I look forward to writing you again. You are Beautiful. BE YOU FULLY.

Big HUG,

A.Marie

Lead Me Back - Morgan Harper Nichols
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