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I remember serving a client one day and being told "You and your people don't appreciate the freedom that my people gave you."

My heart sank, my blood boiled, and angry tears tried to well up in my eyes. In response, I nodded and walked away. I didn't trust myself to respond.

Truthfully, I wanted to respond. I wanted to tell her how "my people" wouldn't have needed freedom if slavery wasn't "her people's" means of creating wealth. I wanted to say that if stealing things and renaming them something new wasn't such a common practice among "her people", "my people" and many other people would be more appreciative of simply being able to walk around America freely.

On that day, the haunting thought that this was not my America felt confirmed and I became even more disconnected from "the land of the free." But, I consoled myself with the thought that this lady was probably 1 in 10,000 to feel that way. I licked my wounds and kept pushing. I told myself her words did not matter. But, they did.

In the last few months, things that I've seen blasted all over the media from news stations to social media have caused me to question the thought that once calmed the aching in my soul. And, as I sadly prepare myself for the transition from President Obama's

Administration to whoever is next, my fingers are ready to exercise what is now my constitutional right, (thanks to so many men and women who came before me)but I am troubled.

Although, I know how I am going to vote, my heart is not totally at peace. You see I am not a Republican, a Democrat, a Liberal, a Conservative, an Indpendent, or a Third Party supporter. And, being a woman doesn't make me want to vote for Hillary.

I am a Christian and in my opinion none of those aforementioned titles partner or compliment the one that I identify with at my core.

I have a plethora of emotions about what I've seen in the news and a broken heart about what I have watched taken place; all over the internet and nation. I am saddened as the greed and the flaws of the human condition have people forgetting that it is not money that fuels this economy it's the people with red blood, blue and green veins, pink muscle tissue, and purply organs that make this nation go round.

This election has opened my eyes to the state of America and the people in it. I thought the numbers of the racist, apathetic, and indifferent were few, but alas they are many. With a heavy heart I will go to the polls because for me this election isn't about America's money it's about America's people. People who need a Savior more than they need a President. People who at the very least deserve to live in an America that doesn't allow Race to be a political platform on which more fear is built.

To me it's also about facing the taboo topic of defining for America who belongs to her and reminding her that she cannot forget her illegimate, painful conception and development simply because she is tired of hearing the cries of decendants of ancestors begging her for validation of their significance and humanity.

I have watched rallies where people were pushed, slapped, removed, and verbally abused simply for being present. I've heard more racial slurs and stereotypes being blasted to crowds as if they were truth. I have watched in horror as some of the very races and cultures of people who helped to create successes for America have been discredited, berated, and cast aside. I have heard lies, lies, childlike arguements, and more lies. I have heard the term "super predator" come from a mouth who nows says they no longer feel that way.

In spite of it all, I am comforted in the fact that God is above

America and all her unbeautiful chaos. He has remained constant as communication to Him was taken out of schools, as policies began to determine whose life was more important, and as city lines were redrawn to create substandard environments for certain people to thrive in.(...still wondering why Church's and Chick fil a can't be on the same side of town)

As I make ready to go to the poles and act, I am praying for hearts and minds. I am praying for America's salavation. As I push past comfort zones, to reveal the truth of my reality and learn the truth of those around me. I pray America can remember the truth of its foundation and development and in return truly extend liberty and justice to all. As I sit open difficult conversations and whole back the angry speech that seeks liberation from my tongue, I am praying for repentance and that humbly one day America can achieve the greatness she boasts about.

Big Hug


...Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” Matthew 15:11

Lead Me Back - Morgan Harper Nichols
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