Stay In The Know:

Give My Friend A Break

“Bye lady thanks for visiting,” I called out. “Of course! But give my friend a break,” she responded. “Who?” I asked. “Alicia Johnson,” she said as she smiled. As she walked out the door, I thought to myself, “How in the world do I do that?” For as long as I can remember I have been Alicia the over achiever, grand gesturer, and go getter. The deep thinking, intense feeling do-er who who learned quickly not to lean to regularly on others after falling flat on my back after being let down. I was raised to be a leader, to do my best and be the best. I shouldered projects, made back-up plans and often said yes to multiple requests at a time. I pushed others and myself to not just get it done but do it in excellence.. all admirable traits until... I was sitting on my couch pouring out onto a new friends lap. (A friend gifted to me through side door of my heart by God since I had a guard dog posted at the front... fear is a four letter word). There, at three and half weeks postpartum I was going on and on about my future, what I had yet to achieve, what I wanted to achieve, being a better wife, pleasing my husband, being a better mom, my mom bod, what type of workout I should do in the future, jobs, money, bills, my credit score, when to go back and finish my doctorate, needing more showers etc etc etc. Like many of us, I was my own worst enemy constantly thinking and worrying myself into self-dissatisfaction. Believing that my achievements gave me value rather than my soul, heart, and spirit. So, I went to the shower turned on the hot water, locked the door, and played some music. I sat down in my shower chair and let the water beat down my face and let the dam break. I ugly cried, sang, prayed, worshipped, and talked. (Other times I’ve kneeled and let the water sting my back.. it feels amazing). On the steamed bathroom mirror, I wrote notes to myself and talked. I told myself I was beautiful, strong, capable, and good enough not because of what I do but simply because of who I am. It felt weird, but I had to stop waiting on others to love on me and set the precedent by giving myself space to be me without the extra-curricula’s. Postpartum or not, now it’s your turn to love on you. She needs you to nurture her where she is now and stop discrediting her for who she has yet to become. As impossible or crazy as it sounds I recommend you go to the shower for some mirror talk. Or if even a locked door doesn’t thwart interruption take some time in your car alone (sometimes I go there just to get away... lol) Whatever works just do it and give my friend a break. You deserve to be free of the weight of your own expectations. You should be striving because you love what you can do not because need to prove your are valuable. Let me know how it goes. You got this and your worth it. Big Hug 😘 A.Marie

Lead Me Back - Morgan Harper Nichols
00:00 / 00:00